Going Wireless!

No I'm not a really late adopter just now getting around to dropping my landline for the latest app-happy cell-phone. I am no stranger to crackberry rehab; thanks to my lay-off, I've been clean for 7 months now. But my new wireless is waa-hay better.

Ladies, you know how you've searched your whole life for the perfect bra? One that's supportive and comfortable and looks great under t-shirts? Well, as it turns out, there's an "app" for that. It's called a nursing bra and it is WIRE FREE baby! Well I just heard angels sing . To my husband's dismay, I may never get back on the Victoria's Secret mailing list again. I realize this may not sound totally appealing to those of you who's foreplay ritual doesn't yet include 2 verses of twinkle-twinkle little star. But don't worry, by the time you've gotten comfortable using the word cervix in front of your mate, you'll be ready for all 4 hooks of that flesh-toned spandex miracle.

A funny thing happens to one's body image after pregnancy and breastfeeding. Prior to 9 months of having my bodily systems and functions discussed casually in medical jargon, I still blushed at Vicky's racier secrets - but I could at least possibly picture myself in them at the time, even if only after 17 weekly spinning classes and some time with that infomercial ab gadget I secretly bought at some point in my twenties - when I just thought I was fat. It used to be about lace and little bows and see through fabric. Currently it's just about access.

Yes, my breasts are now as much for function as for frills these days (thank you male OBGYN for pointing out casually 'you're sort of like a cow when you think about it' - it must be said that he delivered my baby boy without so much as a scratch in the clear coat, so I forgive him). I have a whole new respect for my breasts and I spend a whole lot more time with them than I used to, which has brought me to a few important and deeply profound realizations.

One: I love my breasts for what they can do - put an ounce a day of healthy weight on my newborn, quiet him when he's in distress, and then do it all over again in 45 minutes. Two: Just when I thought they couldn't get bigger, they can. Three: Actually three is just plain overshare - if you're really curious, just e.mail me. And lastly: I know my breasts better than ever before and, because I'm breastfeeding, exam them regularly now. I turned 30 this year and now have a human being in my life who is totally dependent on me...it's finally hit me, I need to take good care of myself so I stick around a while. So now that I have you thinking about breasts, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, it's as good a time as any to get in the habit of regular self exams.