Monday, November 30, 2009

What I know now

At the request of a few readers, I give you "the things I know now" about pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Keep in mind (disclaimer alert), this is based purely on my personal experience, which may vary from your own and that of your neighbor, sister-in-law, and that girl you read about last week in People magazine. And while it should go without saying, I'm a blogger, not a doctor. Do not attempt, etc, etc.

1. pressure isn't as bad as pain but it doesn't feel good either
2. having a birth plan is good, just be prepared to defend and repeat it
3. walking the halls or using a birthing ball during labor is a good idea, unless your water breaks
4. sleeping when the baby sleeps is ideal. Sleeping when you can is realistic
5. breastfeeding is natural but not necessarily easy - lactation consultants are indispensable
6. a long labor on an empty stomach is like a bad hangover with its own hangover, but don't eat anything in the last few days of pregnancy that you don't want to see later
7. throwing up is apparently standard operating procedure during labor (see #6, dry heaving isn't any more fun than plain old upchucking)
8. respect to the ladies who go all natural - labor HURTS, pain control is gooood
9. you may only remember 40% of what you learned in prenatal classes, and only 40% of that will actually apply to you, but it will come in handy
10. just when you think you will never go into labor, you do, so be prepared
11. what you need for the hospital should fit into a duffel bag - another empty duffel will come in handy for taking home the baby hospital blankets, baby tee shirts, and volumes of triplicate paperwork
12. even if you're breastfeeding, keep the ready-mix formula they give you at the hospital. It's good to have in the diaper bag for non-breastfeeding-appropriate moments - the ready-to-feed bottles don't expire for months unlike expressed milk that is good for like a minute out of the fridge
13. don't be afraid to put visitors off for a couple of weeks after you get home - the "I just gave birth" excuse expires after about 6 weeks, so use it while you can
14. Avail yourself of stork parking and feel free to give nasty looks to people who use it when they shouldn't
15. you will never be completely prepared or in control, maybe ever again
16. forget eggplant Parmesan, curry, and walking. If you want labor to start, make plans

For my detailed hospital bag checklist or birthplan guidelines, feel free to send me an e.mail.

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